Franchisetopia

Bangalore is growing and people here are making money. When you have more disposable income than your parents, what do you buy? Donuts and ice cream!

Bangalore has The Donut Baker* shops popping up all over. They look like Dunkin' Donuts but in yellow and brown instead of pink. The donuts are fine (buy the raised donuts--the cake donuts are dried out) and not too different from what you would get in the US or Canada. The shops are bright and clean and usually adjacent to another Global Franchise Architects store like Pizza Corner or The Cream and Fudge Factory.

So it's just like home?

The biggest difference you notice is that The Donut Baker--or any American-looking, shiny franchise shop--has a VERY NERVOUS staff who try desperately to fit into the corporate plan. Smile now. SMILE.

When I went to The Cream and Fudge Factory, as I read the menu board, I was offered a laminated plain-text copy of the same menu, handed a glossy printed flier, and received suggestions from the staff about what cone I should have. Instead of the order-scoop-pay process, I had a hovering young woman waiting to take my order. I tried to get one of the fancy cones with chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla, but I was told by the hovering girl and the scooper it wasn't possible (turns out the ice cream was banana and it would remove a critical component from my Cream and Fudge Factory Experience).

After taking my order, the hoverer wrote it down on a carbon copy pad and then told the ice cream scooper/topping mixer the order and told me the price. I started to pay her but realized I needed to pay at the cash register. The girl at the cash register looks at me blankly until the hoverer repeats my order and the price (at no point were any of the written items passed on directly). I pay my 99 Rs and received a register-printed receipt. They tell me I can sit upstairs (in The Donut Baker), too. Meanwhile the scooper and two other employees go off to the side to debate the size of the brownie slice that was to be mixed in my ice cream. I wait 5-7 minutes in the ice cream parlor and then my waffle cone is proudly served in a cone holder with The Cream and Fudge Factory plastic spoons and napkins.

How many people does it take to serve a donut?

After ice cream (which was ok), we went upstairs and bought some donuts. The donut line is semi-self-serve. Someone hands you a tray and some tongs and you pick the donuts off the racks (check out the image gallery) and then you slide down to the cashier who will take your money or hand off your donuts for parcel (what we call "to go" here in India). Employees seem confused, nervous, AND VERY VERY EAGER. It's quite the vibe, since The Donut Baker had FIVE employees to eagerly serve donuts. Not mixing or baking--JUST BEING EAGER. We sat down for five minutes while they placed four donuts in a box and the box in a bag. While we waited, a sixth The Donut Baker employee walked in (and number seven was mopping the stairs outside).

The by-product of all the employees, the boredom, and the nervousness is that people may stare at you to make sure you are having The Appropriate Global Franchise Experience.







* On the site, I'm not sure which phrase is funnier "innovative high quality donuts" or "proprietary dough."

Want to help Microfinance?

You people know I am not above tapping my friends to help (and thanks again to Ashlock for doing work for Grameen Koota!). Mifos 1.1 will be released in a couple months, and we could really use some extra testers (or devs or admins or tech writers). More eyes on a product are always better, and anything you can do to give the core team more time to work on other areas means more bugs get fixed and features are better, and that translates into fewer headaches and lower costs for the microfinance institutions. It's not as fun as building houses or working directly with people, but you can make a big difference in the back office. The the ability to manage large amounts of data is what allows for the scale of microfinance to increase. Also, cost savings mean that over time they can afford to have lower interest rates for the borrowers. The better Mifos is, the fewer patches and less time it will take to deploy, lowering overall IT costs.

Let me know if you are interested, and I'll find you an assignment. For those of you curious about 1.1, check out the Product Road Map or the Test Server.

One Month Left

Time flies when you're arguing with auto drivers. I finish my contract with GTC on February 20th, and my trip to Nepal will be Feb 21-March 22. I fly to the states 2 days later. If you want me to bring you something from India, you should let me know now.

General Update

My life is pretty ho-hum. With the exception of this weekend, I'm still working quite a bit. I've acquired a cold, but whatever was in my GI tract seems to have been permanently evicted. China/Singapore put some weight back on me, so you can no longer count my ribs on sight. I've undertaken some loose planning for Nepal, but essentially I'm booking a plane ticket and will figure out guides, etc when I get there. Mainly, I sit at the laptop, have conference calls, and spend any free time socializing with more local people by tagging along with a friend. I've taken to staying in the city more (availing myself of guest rooms and couches) and subsequently quelling the gossip, as spending extra time with/overnighting at any male friend(s) raises a lot of eyebrows in the wee social circles of Bangalore (both local and foreign). I've nothing spicy to report, other than some unwelcome invitations from someone I exchanged no more than 10 words with, none of which was social in nature. The pigeons left us one of their own--Liz arrived home the other day to find a dead bird on her patio.

I'll spend the last month wrapping up tasks and transitioning my work to AW, who will manage things from Seattle until my full-time replacement is hired.

The Dallas of Asia

After Beijing, we (that is me and my buddy Josh) spent a couple days in Singapore. We stayed at some friends' who have a lovely flat near Orchard Road, Singapore's main shopping district. Singapore is a large, tropical, spotlessly clean city-state devoted to commerce. It's filled with huge malls and department stores, and--more importantly--ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT FOOD COURTS.

Mmmmmmm..Doooonuts...
I replaced half the weight I lost in India on the Beijing/Singapore trip. Eating and shopping are the national pastimes in Singapore. We ate at the outdoor hawker market, inside the malls, at the house, and in the airport--donuts, chicken rice, brownies, cranberry bread, Dairy Queen (Peanut Buster Parfaits are not as good here), Burger King (our host had a craving and sent the maid out to get it while we drank), custard puff, cheese, hummus, soba noodles and juices.

Around meals, we managed to see some beautiful orchids (30 or 40 varieties) at the Botanic Gardens and did some shopping. The orchids were definitely the most enjoyable non-food activity, since I don't like shopping, especially in Asia.

"Um excuse me--do you have this in extra, extra, EXTRA large?"

Every major European, Japanese, and American fashion outlet is represented in Singapore, and the prices are about what you would pay in the US. Sadly, in addition to being an XL in India, I am positively enormous in Singapore and Beijing. The only clothing I came close to buying was a man's wool coat at the Shangri-La Beijing. To get shoes before the wedding, I had to go to three shoe stores before finding one that had had any in a size 8 (one female clerk actually got bug-eyed and laughed).

It seems my brawny, muscular frame is too much for high fashion. I sometimes couldn't even get sleeves over my arms, and if I did find the next size up, it was too baggy around the middle. Besides the sizing issue, most of the clothes available are items one wears to do more shopping, not something I would wear to work (too short, too low-cut, too gold-glittered). I pray fashion in the US has not gone to stupid as it has in Asia..

I did get some treats for myself and friends at Muji and purchased a knock-off iPod Shuffle for $20 since my actual Shuffle is dying a slow death (and no way can I work out without music here with the squeaka-squeaka of the exercise equipment). I paid $15 too much--the device is possibly the flimsiest piece of electronics I've ever had.

Relaxing
We spent the evening at the house talking, eating, and enjoying the lovely tropical night. Day two we spent buying more food and making a half-hearted attempt to camera shop before heading to the airport and returning to dusty, chaotic Bangalore.

Beijing

Beijing was impressive--clean, modern, and LARGE. I thought it would feel different and exotic, but it reminded me of home because of the 10-lane highways, cleanliness, and omnipresent sense of organization relative to India. In fact, Beijing appears to be 50-60 years ahead of Indian cities, and it's hard not to wonder if they'll ever catch up.

The buildings are ENORMOUS--Las Vegas hotels are small in comparison. The pollution is bad, though we had blue skies at least one day. Food is fantastic, though laden with far more meat and oil than I eat (either in India or the US). I ate plates and plates and bowls and bowls of food, including TWO meals at one of Beijing's famous duck restaurants, a 12-course wedding banquet, noodles, dumplings, hot pot, snacks, and juices. As an unexpected bonus, I spent the time with a great group of people in town for the wedding--an elaborate and over-the-top event. To top it off, we stayed at the Shangri La hotel where I took shamefully long hot showers, ate perfect apples, and slept as soundly as I have in years.

In case you were unaware...

Not much of old China is left in Beijing, as it's been heavily modernized AND IS PREPARING FOR THE OLYMPICS. REPEAT: THE 2008 SUMMER OLYMPICS ARE IN BEIJING. YOU MAY COMMENCE PURCHASING SOUVENIR COLLECTIBLES. BEIJING = 2008 SUMMER OLYMPICS, AND WE ARE CLEAN, PROSPEROUS AND PREPARED FOR THE 2008 BEIJING SUMMER OLYMPICS. CHAIRMAN MAO AND THE PANDAS WANT YOU TO HAVE A GOOD, CLEAN 2008 SUMMER OLYMPICS.

Beijing has Olympics all over it--tons of souvenir shops, street merchandise, a mammoth stadium, public service announcements, giant signs at The Great Wall of China, and office buildings with 40-ft flashing Olympic mascots dancing across them. Educational videos on each sport play in the very clean Beijing subways next to rows and rows of newly-installed ticket machines and booths. Spitting is out, friendly is in, and let's all give the world a big Beijing welcome...

Power Tourism

We visited every tourist site Beijing has to offer: The Great Wall of China, Tiannaman Square, The Forbidden City, The Summer Palace, The Lama Temple, The Temple of Earth, The Temple of Heaven, a government pearl shop, The Ming Tombs, the Beijing Zoo, beautiful parks, touristy art shops and some of the largest malls in Asia. I was freezing most of the time, having only a light jacket and layers of warm-weather shirts. Fortunately, the massive amounts of food warmed me up quickly.

We saw most sites with wedding friends, save for one day with a tour guide. Normally, paid individual tours are a great way to see the city, but unfortunately our tour guide stuck to the approved script. The temples are beautiful, mammoth and IMPOSING. China--old or new--has mastered monolithic architecture. You really need only 4-5 days in Beijing to get all the sites, although it sounds like we should have spent more time in the museums in the Forbidden City. The gardens we saw were lovely, even in winter and must be gorgeous in spring, summer, and autumn.

Our most culturally relevant experience in Beijing was lunch at KFC. The Chinese are crazy for the Colonel. It was good and clean, though certainly no where as good as Chik-Fil-A (unavailable in China, India, or Seattle).

Do Not Ever Visit the Beijing Zoo

Normally, I do not visit zoos outside the US and Canada, but Josh wanted to see some pandas (I saw them in San Diego) and we had a few hours to kill before our flight. I assumed it would be a pretty good zoo, given the global popularity of the panda. The new, modern, clean China broke down at the Beijing Zoo. Once you leave the pandas, the conditions are horrible. Cracked and broken glass, mice tunning through the exhibits, bare cages with bald bulbs, and large animals trapped in 6x12 cement enclosures smelling of urine. The exhibits--even for tropical animals--were poorly heated (Beijing was below freezing nearly the whole time we were there). It's one of the saddest and worst places I have visited, and I hope the Chinese government realizes what an appalling image it's going to give Olympic visitors and fixes the issue. It's definitely a strong reminder that most of China is not at all modern or prosperous, and you wonder who paid the price for all the Olympic polish.

Travelin'

I'm off to China tomorrow night, followed by a couple days in Singapore. China should be fun, cold, and smoggy. Singapore will be clean and full of good food. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to buy a new camera and a new MP3 player on the trip, since my Shuffle appers to be dying and my camera sucks.

After I get back, I'll return to Assam for a bit to check in on the deployment in person. I hope to squeeze in a trip to Cambodia for a weekend to see Angkor Wat in January, and I will go to Hampi (though maybe not by train) before I leave for the US.

My tentative plans for February are to finish work on the 20th and fly to Kathmandu, Nepal via Delhi a few days later. I'll spend a few days getting acclimated to the altitude and then fly to Pokhara to start my trek on the Annapurna Circuit. I'll be out on the trail for a few weeks and then back to Bangalore for a few days before flying home on March 24th. I might throw in a side trip to Bhutan. Really, though, I am likely to change my mind and switch to Laos or Japan or somewhere else--we'll just have to see.