And from the Worst Idea EVER files

Having an acoustic guitar "just to play" in a Barista coffee shop. As if the cafe-going young men of the world need encouragement to appear soulful and sensitive. What happened to chess sets?

Thank god most people don't play Indigo Girls songs here . Unfortunately, someone did pick up the thing and start strumming, and it didn't even cover up the "All Love Songs, All the Time" music playing in the background.

On the upside, I got Indian ketchup with my panini.

Doh!

No water.
No phone.
No internet.
I'm just waiting for my laptop to explode and my books to catch on fire.

Picture Pages

If you want to see more photos than are posted here, you can email me. I'm not a huge fan of publicly search-able photos, nor are some of my friends, so I'm not using an open link.

Sadly, my camera battery is nearly dead, so I'm going to have to figure out what to do before I start really traveling (Nepal, Bhutan, and Bangladesh are likely to be my post-work travel locales).

I will never buy a cheap camera again. I intended it to be somewhat crappy at $120, but it actually is too lousy to even get a decent shot off with any consistency, the battery never lasted long enough, and it doesn't have image stabilization (though Buy.com indicated it did). Moreover, I have severe SLR envy.

Uh--You guys know I'm not exactly roughing it, right?

After a few Thanksgiving phone calls, I gather some people think I am "enduring" Bangalore well. While I'm sure I could milk that idea for care packages, I am obligated to make it clear that my life in India is at least as easy as my life in Seattle.

The Wrong Impression: "I work 6-7 days a week. I must go through five auto drivers before I find one who will take me to the client site. Everything takes longer here. The pollution is so bad I can't run outside. I haven't found any soccer teams, and the treadmills squeak. My laundry just returned a shirt with the same toothpaste stain on it. I can't travel alone after midnight..."

Just Send My Tiara
I do very little laundry or cooking. I sleep in a king-sized bed. My apartment has three huge bedrooms, two bathrooms, and marble floors that we have someone else clean. I live in a walled compound that includes a parking garage, a swimming pool, basketball courts, and a mini skate park. I have air conditioning, but I've never used it because the weather's been so great.

I never have to drive. If I am out too late, my friends have a driver take me home,
let me sleep over, or ride to my house with me. While riding in autos, I work or read books--I've gotten more reading done here than I have in months. Sometimes I get to ride on scooters and motorcycles and get through the city quickly. I can hire a driver if I ever needed one.

Work is whenever, wherever, and as much as I like. I can work from home most days, and my commute is opposite the traffic. The IT Director at GK is spectacular and patient with me. The client site has a huge jackfruit tree growing in the courtyard. Every time I go in or out of Grameen Koota, children shout "America! America!" and want me to smile and wave at them.


"Damn, it feels good to be a Gangsta"
Meeting other people is easy. I go out three to five times a week. People buy me drinks and dinners all the time, and I got spoiled on my birthday. Wednesday night we played poker, ate chicken, and drank beer while shooting pellet guns and listening to NWA. I had two Thanksgiving dinners.

Almost all of the 20+ restaurants within walking distance of my house deliver. I eat South Indian, North Indian, Indian Chinese, Thai, Chinese Chinese, Malaysian, pizza, Italian, and steak. I also know where to get sushi and Belgian beers any time I need them. Sushi is the only meal that costs more than $20 USD, and usually I spend <$1 USD per meal. I am tired of Italian food only.

I can talk to my family and friends by IM or Skype when I miss them. TM thoughtfully hauled twenty pounds of shoes and cranberries to Bangalore for me, all of which was packed by RB and my dad. Friends at home make time to talk when I miss them. Ashlock even volunteered to do a small project for GK.

All this AND Diwali?
I received an hour-long pedicure for $9 USD. I see fireworks at least once a week. I get special treatment because I am foreign far more often than I am hassled for it. Auto drivers and clerks ask me where I am from and tell me about their relatives in the United States. Service is different than the US but far better than Seattle.

So, yes, we have power outages weekly (that's why I brought an extra laptop battery), and I'm on water rations for four days (I have additional places to shower and extra bottles in the fridge), and my new sport is professionally annoying auto drivers, but adjusting was easy. As long as you are patient enough, India always takes care of you.

Amy: 2 Mosquitoes: 10

We have a lovely apartment, but it appears to be mosquito-permeable. My suspicion is that they come out through the drains. We keep the windows closed starting late afternoon, and we have wee mosquito-toxic Plug-ins. The apartment complex gases the shrubbery and building lobbies every night at 6 PM. However, when you live somewhere that never gets colder than 60 degrees that has open sewers, there's no getting away from them.

I killed two at my desk tonight, but not before getting TEN BITES on my right leg. Thank god for After Bite. I can't imagine what it's like living someplace where the mosquitoes (or malaria) are even more of a problem, like Mumbai or Minnesota.

Like Jaws but More Annoying

The itchiness fades pretty quickly (especially if I don't scratch and apply After Bite), but sleeping in a room with a mosquito is awful. The tiny thing makes a shrill noise loud enough to keep me from falling asleep, mainly because I know I am about to get bitten on whatever flesh is exposed (usually only hands, ears and face). And--in an unfortunate event of literary appropriateness--another one just landed on my back as I was typing this entry. Other than my general lack of talent for falling asleep, mosquitoes are my top source of insomnia.

More press, this time for Clover

My brushes with fame continue, as one of my favorite gadgets (and an Atlas client), the Clover coffee machine, gets press in The Economist.

On the topic of coffee...
India has two big chains, Barista and Coffee Day. They are both Starbucks quality (over-roasted beans, really sweet drinks), but they do a better job of serving things at the right temperature, albeit MUCH more slowly than at home.

The food they serve, however, is far superior to food at a chain coffee place in the US because 1) Again--the temperature is always right, and 2) if you get a sandwich, it comes with delicious Indian ketchup (similar to American ketchup but made with real sugar, a touch of chili, and possibly crack). In my northwest coffee snob way, I roll my eyes at foreigners who miss Starbucks.

Michael, please have my Stumptown ready upon my return.

Language Updation

A mere two months in India, and my vocabulary is already changing. I swear much less, mainly. My name is now pronounced something more like "Eh-mee." I participate in things at "timings" of the day.

A friend has gotten me into the habit of calling my auto drivers, security guards, and any male service person "Boss" (pronounced more like "bose", with a long o and an s) As in: "Hai,Boss--where's Lavelle Road?" Note that you pronounce the name of the street "Lavelly," and, no, not like the Japanese "hai." Also, if I am talking to an auto driver, "road" gets half an "l," like "rload." To give turning directions, I'll say "rligh-teh," "lef-teh," and "strai-teh."

At work: updation and upgradation. These words are perfectly acceptable in Indian English, but they still make me flinch.

I now "take" meals ("Madame, you will take breakfast?"). If I eat a lunch, I order South Indian meals, though I'm only getting one. I also tell waiters that "filter water" is okay for me to drink. Instead of bell pepper, I eat capsicum, and I generally have curd (yoghurt) with every meal.

We don't know why, but adding "only" to the end of a sentence seems to make ideas more clear, like "I am here only." I'm experimenting with adding adverbs to the end of sentences in general.

I use the Indian head bob (just Google it--a million ex-pats whine about it) to indicate yes and maybe. I have no idea if I use it correctly, but I haven't had any problems yet.

I can get away with anything by saying "No problem!" and giving a huge smile. I'm pretty sure it only works because I am wealthy/female/foreign.